Earn the answer in four sentences.
When the reader does not know there is a problem, your answer sounds like a solution looking for one. Give them the problem first, fast.
One kickoff email, sent twice
To finance, legal and support. The card contract renews for three years unless someone acts in November.
Most people send
Subject: Payments provider review
Hi all, Over the last quarter the payments team has compared card processors on fees, uptime and tooling across checkout, subscriptions and refunds. Our current contract dates from 2023 and has mostly served us well, though we had outages on 14 March and 2 August. We would like to propose moving card payments to a new provider, starting with a pilot. Legal would need to look at the notice period and finance at the budget. Happy to set up time. Let me know your thoughts.
The ask hides in paragraph three, with no date. The notice deadline, the one reason to act this month, is not in the email at all.
Four sentences, then the detail
Subject: Card payments: pilot a cheaper provider before 30 Nov notice
- We put £41m a year of card payments through one processor, on a contract that has renewed quietly since 2023.
- It renews on 1 March for three more years unless we give notice by Monday 30 November, and a second provider has quoted 1.5% against our 1.9%: £164,000 a year.
- So do we sign for three more years, or test the cheaper provider before the window closes?
- Approve a four-week pilot sending 10% of card traffic to the new provider from Monday 2 November, and you get a go or no-go with real numbers on Wednesday 25 November.
From finance: the £12,000 pilot budget by Friday 23 October. From legal: a notice letter drafted, sent only on a go.
What the situation does
A fact the reader already accepts. Nobody in finance will argue with it, so they nod and keep reading.
What the complication does
What breaks the stable picture. The deadline and the money were missing from the original; here they arrive in sentence two.
What the question does
The question the complication puts in their head. Writing it down checks that your answer answers it, and not a nearby one.
What the answer does
The ask, now in sentence four instead of paragraph three. Everything after it is the pyramid: reasons, then evidence.
Earn it, or lead with it
Ask one thing: do they already own the problem?
Bottom line up front
They know the contract is up. Open with the approval you need; the context is optional reading.
SCQA
Nobody in finance has 30 November in their diary. Open with “approve a pilot” and the first reply is “why?”. Three sentences first make the answer their idea.
The pyramid principle
What comes after the opening: the answer at the top, three reasons under it, numbers under those.
Fill the four lines
Write them before the rest of the email. If one will not come, you are not ready to send.
- S
- We the stable fact they already accept.
- C
- But what changed, and the date or number that makes it urgent.
- Q
- So the question that change raises?
- A
- Who does what by when, and you get what back, and when.
If they would argue with your situation, it is a complication in disguise. Start one step earlier.
Nobody says yes to an answer before they have asked the question.