Bottom line up front
Put the point first.
Your conclusion belongs in the first sentence. Everything under it is optional reading.
The bar, from Army Regulation 25-50: understood by the reader in a single rapid reading.
Worked out in this order
Context → Analysis → Conclusion
Sent in this order
Conclusion → Context → Detail
The same situation, sent twice
DECISION is a word you type. It sorts the message before anyone opens it.
A launch date at risk
Thu 09:10
Your director owns the call; marketing locks the creative Friday morning.
Most people send
Subject: mobile launch update
Wanted to give you some context on where we are with the mobile launch.
We picked this vendor in September for their Apple Pay support. Yesterday their PM said the SDK now lands Nov 20, not Nov 6.
So Nov 12 is awkward. We could go without Apple Pay, or move it. Marketing has creative in flight either way.
Anyway, let me know what you think.
Your reader scans four paragraphs and finds one ask (“let me know what you think”), then files it under read later. The answer comes Friday afternoon, after the creative locked.
Point at the top
Subject: DECISION: mobile launch date, need a yes by Thu 17:00
I need your yes or no by Thursday 17:00 on launching the app Nov 12 without Apple Pay and adding it in December.
Why
The vendor’s SDK slipped from Nov 6 to Nov 20. Cards and PayPal are unaffected and cover 87% of volume.
Ruled out
Moving to Nov 26 costs the holiday window and two weeks of paid creative, to ship one payment method sooner.
If no reply
We ship the app Nov 12 without Apple Pay. You only have to answer to stop it.
Detail
Vendor confirmation, the December plan and the QA scope are in the thread.
Your reader answers from the notification preview.
What changed The last line became the first and gained a deadline. September is gone; nobody needed it. The 87% and the default are new: a first sentence has nowhere to hide, and writing one is what sent you to find them.
Steal the shape
Fill the slots in order. Stop at the first line that would not change what they do.
The template
Subject: DECISION: [what it is about], [what you need] by [day, time]
I need [a decision / your approval] from you by [deadline] on [the one thing].
Why
What changed, and the number that makes it matter.
Ruled out
The option they were about to suggest, and its cost.
If no reply
What happens by default, so silence still ships something.
Detail
Where the evidence lives. Nobody has to open it.
No ask Swap the keyword for INFO, the point for “[what happened] and is [resolved]. Nothing needed from you.”, the middle bullets for Done and Prevented.
Then check it
Cover it
Hide everything below your opening line. If what is left does not tell them what to do, including that there is nothing to do, the point is buried.
Not a label
“An update on the launch” is a topic, not a bottom line. A sentence that could open any message says nothing.
One ask
Two decisions in one message is two messages. The second one always loses.
When not to lead with it
For work someone must act on or file, not for every message. A layoff opened with its bottom line reads as callousness, not clarity.
Nobody thanks you for a well-built run-up.
